Bad Hotel Art

While Steve and I were in San Francisco, we had the opportunity to stay at the Hyatt at Fisherman's Wharf. Although the hotel itself was very nice, and had some spa-ish qualities to the rooms and lobby, I just can't explain this hotel art. Steve walked by this picture, and said "Stomach:"

OK, Granted, it's a cow's stomach, plus one, but I thought it was interesting that's what he saw. Then we got to this one:

And this is an X-ray of Steve's hip, after replacement:

Do you see the comparison here? (Apparenly I need to make it known that the "white" area between his leg bones is not his family blessing. It is his tailbone. Sickos!)

Whoever picks this stuff out needs to have a head check. Or maybe the person who came up with the designs needs to have a head check.

Around the corner, we have this beauty:

Well, I won't go into details about the symbolism of the three holes, but Steve said, "Edamame."

Then, before we enter the room, we have this:

Um, an X-ray of a woman in a corset? Shoulder blades and a spine?

Last, but not least, we have the piece de resistance:

"Alka Seltzer." (Can you tell that Steve might have had heartburn one night?)

I suppose it would have been more exciting to tell you all about the trip we took, but I started thinking about vacation pictures - they never really mean as much to the people looking at them as they do to the person who was there and took the picture. So, I'll just leave you with this:

The Evolution of Cat Names

I've heard somewhere that a cat has three names: There's the name they're first given, the name you give them, and the name they call themselves. I started to think about my cats, and how their names have evolved:

Cat #1:

• Given name: Aisha. She was our first cat, and we were her first humans. The name came from my nephew, who loved cats. Aisha was supposed to be his cat, and he wasn't even two years old yet. He called cats "ay-yah," but I just couldn't name a cat "ay-yah." I knew someone named Aisha when I was a kid, and I heard the name meant princess, so Aisha it was.

Abby, my mother-in-law (who's nickname is Lady-yes, humans have evolved names, too!) found her under some boxes and shopping carts at the Reams store around State and 2700 S. She was fierce and full of fight. There was a three-month period where we lived with my in-laws while we put together the down-payment for our house. The day she was brought home, I came home from work and Jesse, my father-in-law was outside, and told me there was an attack cat inside. I thought, "Wow. Wonder what that means."

Sure enough, I walked in, and a small kitten scampered up the couch to jump on me to attack me. If she were bigger than the frozen burrito size she was, I might have actually been a little afraid. Steve trained her for hours to keep attacking - she'd keep coming back at him, and finally, when she was about to give up, he'd give in to her. She was his baby first, and as we added cat #3, her responsibility has grown to keep the house and her "mommy" in line.

• Names we gave her: Aishie, Kit-Kat, Queen Aisha, Princess Aisha (which doesn't fit anymore- see Princess Beezy below), Aishe-Aish, (pronounced i-she-eish), Little Girl.



• Name she calls herself: Aisha. You see, she's not a cat. She has told us time and time again that she is our director, and must keep us in line. Bedtime is exactly when she says it is, and I must obey her. I am her charge. She sleeps on the corner of the bed to protect me and keep an eye on me. Therefore, she is not a cat: She calls herself Aisha. And by the way, she owns this house - hence the title of this blog.

Cat #2:

• Name given: Brady.



• Name we gave her: Bailey. OK, that's the name I gave her. She's a girl! Brady is a boy's name! Bailey-Boo, Boo-Boo, Bailey-bugga-boo, Cuddle Kitty, Bailey-big-eyes, Bailey-baby.
  

Bailey was adopted from Wasatch Humane (which is now Utah Animal Adoption Center.) She was a replacement for the baby-hunger I was feeling at the time. My sister-in-law just had her second baby, and I was feeling pretty down in the dumps that I didn't have a baby yet.

Bailey's homecoming was filled with noises I hadn't heard Aisha make yet. Growls, spits, and "Ffffff-ffff-fff!@#!@@@#" (cat cusswords.) However, Bailey was not intimidated. She was too dumb to be intimidated.

Dumb cats really are good cats - they cuddle with you, and do just about everything else the other cat does. Case in point: We got a drinking fountain for Aisha and Bailey. When Aisha was a kitten, Steve used to pour water out of a bottle, and Aisha would catch the stream in her mouth (again, proof that she's not a cat.) When we got the drinking fountain, Aisha figured the stream was there for her to drink from - not from the moving water in the bowl. Since this is what Aisha did, Bailey had to do it too. And still does - she can't take a drink without getting the entire side of her face wet.

• Name she calls herself: Unknown. Bailey doesn't seem to be quite aware that she should call herself anything. She's never referred to herself - only to her external world. If you could speak cat, and ask her what her name is, she'd say "Huuuuuhhhh?"

Cat #3:

• Given name: Shiloh. I think Lady gave her this name, or the people Lady got her from gave her this name.

When we first got Beezy (pronounced Beeshey - see below as to how this name evolved) it was on a day that I got a raise at work. Cats have always been good omens for me, and Lady rescued her from some people who thought she was "too mean." She was like Aisha-full of fire, and she growled at anything that got near her food. Steve put her up on his shoulder, no bigger than the palm of his hand, and gav her a piece of steak. She sat on his shoulder, ate her steak, and growled any time his hand got near her. (It took her months to stop growling over her food.) There was a little doubt at first, then Steve brought her home. He put her down on the floor in our bedroom, she walked around a little bit, and Aisha came over to check her out. Aisha sniffed at her, and jumped back when she hissed. The look on Aisha' face said "Holy $h!t! A Peruvian Ninja Hissing Rat!"

• Names we gave her: Chasquido (I thought we should have an A-kitty, a B-kitty, and she would be our C-kitty. Chasquido means "snap" in spanish - like "Oh, Snap!" "Oh, Chasquido!" But as she played, Steve nicknamed her Beezy - she was "beezy" over here, "beezy" over there, and just plain "beezy" playing. Bear (she looked like a baby bear when she was a kitten.), Baby-bear, Bear-bear, Bizh-Whizh, Princess Beezy, the Cutest Cat in the World (according to Steve,) Baby-Cat, Baby-girl, Peruvian-Ninja-Hissing-Rat.



• Name she calls herself: Unknown. It's not that she doesn't refer to herself, but that she thinks so highly of herself and is so secure in her care under "daddy" that she has no need to converse with the other cats unless she fees like it. Yes folks, she's a spoiled brat, and he likes it that way!

Cat #4

• Name given: Unknown. Obi was a stray, however, Steve thinks it was Clyde.


• Name we gave him: O.B. - he looked like Beezy, but he was an outdoor cat, so we named him O.B. for Outdoor Beezy - and when he had his tail degloved (see my first post,) the vet wrote down Obi. When you touch him and he's really relaxed, or if he wants something, he'll "Urf", so it evolved to Urf, Sir-Urfs-A-Lot, Urf-a-durf, Obi-wan, Baby Boy.


• Name he calls himself: Rarn (like yarn with an "r".) I have no idea how Steve knows this, but he swears he calls himself Rarn. See, when Obi was an outdoor cat, he had to socialize with other cats. Therefore, he had to give himself a name - and he could pronounce Rarn.

So there you have it: the introduction to my four fur babies.