So, every once in a while, I get on a bitter streak about not having kids. It's not that I want them, or that I don't. To be quite honest, I haven't made up my mind permanently. Steve and I have always taken a "wait and see" approach. If it happens, it happens, and if it doesn't, it doesn't.
But the thing I struggle with is the desire to feel like a responsible human being who contributes to society when I don't have kids. I find it difficult that women my age put value on themselves as a person based on their children. And therefore, since I have none, do I not count?
Don't get me wrong - I think kids are great. I know that raising a kid is not easy. I've witnessed and assisted with raising two myself. I've also been told it can be very rewarding. I'll keep an open mind about that. My brothers turned out to be great guys, but I don't deserve any credit for that. There were many others involved, including my mother, and they had great personality traits as well.
It also seems that no matter how bitter I am, someone else is more bitter. I found an entire website dedicated to the "voluntary human extinction movement." (Google it if you want to learn more. I don't want to appear biased - I don't completely agree, but I don't disagree, either - my opinions tend to change on this subject daily.)
On this site was a link to another essay by Corey S. Powell. It's called "20 Ways the World Could End Swept Away." Since I was old enough to understand global tragedy, I understood that entire masses of people, entire cultures, are often wiped off the face of the earth - Biblical stories that involve a global flood, the Mayans, the Minoans, etc. The earth seems to "clean" itself. And, if you've seen Wall-E (I know, the world according to a Disney Cartoon may not count as philosophical research, but follow along anyways), our planet is destined for failure based on our over-consumption. Therefore, this article may have a hint of truth at some point.
Speaking with a coworker, he commented that by not having kids, if the world ended, I could take a sideline seat to the show since I'm not invested. (I'm not saying he's bitter, but his point was very ironic. He also doesn't have kids - yet.)
So please, don't feel sorry for me that I don't have any kids, or tell me that I should have some. Please don't think I'm selfish for not having any. My decision to have kids will be between my husband and I, and my value as a person shouldn't depend on that decision.
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3 comments:
I definatly agree with you that your value as a person is not based on if you have children or not. It is between you two - I'm sorry someone has been giving you grief about it! I love you!
I totally agree with you... you are amazing whether you decide to re-populate the earth or not. :) (Although I always wondered what a little mix of Jessi and Steve would look like) lol.
Thank you both for the positive comments. I was feeling frustrated at the time, and I feel a little better about it now. For the record, and Jessi-Steve combo may look a little goofy ;-)
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